Super Bad Brad! (a.k.a. Grungy Gaye)

Found this on one of my usual haunts on the jinternet.  

Man… this is just pure jinternet idol AWESOMA!

Talk about non-sequiturs in appearance and performance.

iPod killed the Transformers Star.

Ever wondered what happened to Megatron’s ever-loyal-yet-blackmailing-soldier-slash-tapedeck, Soundwave? He didn’t get into the new movie, but apparently he’s been up to something after the 1986 Transformers movie. (Video contains cusswords and innuendos. Stay away, kiddies!)

“Kids don’t even know what cassettes are. Lots of them don’t even buy CDs anymore… They use iPo…” *Click*

Classic.

And just in case you DON’T KNOW what a tape CASSETTE is (there might be quite a few of you out there), it’s magnetic tape spooled around two reels in a plastic case, used to store analog audio and some data stuff long long ago. Like what you use in miniDV cameras and data archiving, expect that they’re prone to tape entanglement that frequently resulted in the user tearing apart the cassette and ripping out the tapes like entrails from an animal carcass.

An audio tape cassette containing the sounds of my life (make your own at Says-It.com!):

You play them on a “tapedeck” like the Sony Walkman below. Yessirree kids, the Walkman has been around since the dinosaurs ruled the planet, and the name didn’t start with the Sony MP3 player or the mobilephone gimmick of Sony and Ericsson.

Get the straightdope on Cassettes here, and on Soundwave here.

The Glaring Omission in the 2007 Transformers Movie

I had a great time watching it, as I previously said. But all the while, I felt that something was missing.

• Giant transforming robots. Check.
• That “transforming” sound. Check.
• Homages to the cartoon series. Check.
• Gratuitous shots of Megan Fox. Check.
• Cool (or cheesy, depending on age group) songs by The Cars (Drive), Marvin Gaye (Sexual Healing) and Player (Baby Come Back). Check.

Or not. Then it occurred to me. There was one 80s song (or two) from some singer named Stan Bush that should’ve been somehow bludgeoned into this summer’s Transformers movie. It needs more cheesiness.

For those who can’t make the connection, Stan Bush’s “You’ve Got The Touch” was a defining moment in the original 1986 Transformers: The Movie.

Probably the best moment in that movie (for someone who was less than ten years old that time):

An even cheesier video, with Stan Bush hisself!

Stan Bush is Good Enough for Dirk Diggler! (awesome Marky Mark scene from Boogie Nights)

You think the bass is taking away from the vocal?

LMAO.

The Transformers Movie

Wow.

 That’s all I could say after watching the live-action Transformers movie. In fact’s that’s all I thought to myself while watching it last night, the second night it’s been in the theaters where I am.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. In spite of the tantalizing teasers and the really wicked transformation sequences in the trailers, as a really big fan of the original series I went into the theater fully prepared to be disappointed (hey, only Optimus Prime looked remotely like anything in the Transformers universe I grew up with).

Primetime!

But. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. 

I don’t even know where to begins, so I’ll just ramble about it:

• Peter Cullen! No one else can do Prime.
• Hugo Weaving makes a decent Megatron. But Frank Welker is missed.
• CGI sequences are nicely done. This is how robot movies should be made.
• Keep your eyes wide open all throughout (prop your eyelids up with toothpicks or tape them up with duct tape) as there are frenetic sequences and you might miss out on stuff. 
• An echo from the original 1986 Transformers: The Movie. One Shall Stand, One Shall Fall.
• They nailed Ironhide’s personality.
• The characters just look absolutely alien. It might take some getting used to, but I did like them when I saw them in action.
• Never realized some of the Transformers used projectile/ammunitioned weapons that blow holes in armor. I guess that’s because they were all children’s TV-friendly LAZORRRR beams that didn’t really hurt anyone until the carnage that was the 1986 Transformers: The Movie.
• Starscream is just bad-ass. We need more Starscream.
• It’s got classic tunes by the The Cars, Marvin Gaye, and Player!

Overall, I had a great time. Some slow parts, as my friend Pimplepopper has already told me, but the ultra-fast pacing of the action sequences more than make up for it.

Hope this becomes a blockbuster in the US and elsewhere and justify a sequel. I need to watch that.

 Stop reading and go watch it now if it’s out in your town. For those in the US, just a few more days!

Probably everyone has seen the trailer, but here it is anyway:

GRATUITOUS AMOUNTS of ENERGY

• Adding chocolate to an electrical storm!
• Uncomfortably Energetic!
• Menergy!
• Energy Legs!
• 400 Babies!

ROFL. Bring on POWERTHIRST! (Warning, some words that people might find offensive)